Trust us when we say we’re well aware that the name of this website is “Automobile”—not “boat.” Dictionary entries aside, yes, we normally write about cars, but on occasion, something from the seven seas grabs our attention—or the sky, or, um, toyland—catches our eyes, and boy did this thing rip the eyeballs from our heads. Meet the Khalilah, one of the most ridiculous superyachts in the world, which (for our very rich or rich-thinking readers) is for sale. Not a car, don’t care.
We’d call this a house boat, but we suppose that in fancy maritime circles that term is thought of as describing the equivalent of a single-wide trailer. We think. Anyway, the Khalilah is like a mansion that floats, with two master suites, two state rooms, and can haul up to 11 guests. (There is a separate quarters for a crew of up to nine.) The whole interior is said to blend “contemporary chic with a distinct Asian influence.” We don’t necessarily know what that means, but it looks very nice and modern. There’s even a statue of Buddha and a sculpture of a giant squid the doubles as a chandelier in one of the main sitting areas. Clearly, the people at Palmer Johnson who designed this superyacht have interesting tastes—or listened to a paying client with interesting tastes (we’re lookin’ at that bathroom with the cartoon-character tile motif . . . ). But, hey, when money is no object, taste can be just as ephemeral. Or is it optional? Doesn’t matter.
Unlike your average luxury mansion, the Kalilah is powered and can move about. It runs not one but two diesel V-16 engines for, yes, 32 cylinders of immense diesel grunt in total. Apparently, with the ship’s sleek shape and various dimensional aspects—described using a bunch of boating terms we neither know nor care to understand—the engines can propel the Kalilah along nicely as it cuts through the seas. Oh, and the hull is clad in carbon-fiber panels and almost all of them are painted freakin’ gold. Not like, “oh, that sort of resembles gold in the way a golden retriever resembles the color gold”—but g-o-l-d. The Kalilah is priced the way it looks, too, and is listed for sale for 28 million Euros, or about $32 million at current exchange rates. Both in appearance and apparent cost, the Kalilah will certainly stand out in places such as the French Riviera or Monaco or unnamed private island clusters far from the rest of us.
If you can front the cash (or vault full of actual gold) for this bad boy, don’t worry, you won’t merely receive a gold superyacht. Call in the next five minutes—we kid—and you also get a seven-meter-long tender (which is sea-speak for a smaller boat, which is also gold, to match), a jetpack, a hoverboard, a wakeboard, some jet skis, some kayaks, and other goodies. Because, you know, why the heck not? (And who can resist saying that their boat provides a bit of boat-ception, or a boat within a boat within another boat?) We don’t toss around the word exquisite too often, but the Khalilah certainly ticks more than a few exceptional boxes. Oh, to be rich. Speaking of, where is this ship’s matching gold Bugatti?
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